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Jul. 13th, 2008 07:43 amYesterday we went to the Italian ice stand. J. comes back to the car with our order (choco cone for him, pineapple in a cup for me) and the following conversation ensued:
J.: See that kid there? [points at some generic crewcut sprog dripping melted ice down both forearms] That kid, you know he's gonna grow up to be an asshole.
Me: Oh, hell yes he is. I can see it all now.
J.: Yep. Asshole in the making. You can tell from the shape of his head. Like visual phrenology.
Me: He's gonna grow up, be a dick, play lacrosse in high school and date rape some cheerleaders at keggers, fail to get an athletic scholarship to Basketweaving U., get some bullshit middle management sales job that he hates, drink himself into an ulcer before he's 28, marry some stupid woman, cheat on her with the first pregnancy, bring home herpes, she's gonna file for divorce later on because she will be too stupid to catch on until there are three kids, and he's gonna fight for visitation rights, but when the kids come to visit he'll be all "sit down and shut up, I'm watching the Jets game."
J.: We should just run him the hell over now and spare the planet the misery.
Me: Naw.
J.: Why not?
Me: Because we just had the car washed.
J.: See that kid there? [points at some generic crewcut sprog dripping melted ice down both forearms] That kid, you know he's gonna grow up to be an asshole.
Me: Oh, hell yes he is. I can see it all now.
J.: Yep. Asshole in the making. You can tell from the shape of his head. Like visual phrenology.
Me: He's gonna grow up, be a dick, play lacrosse in high school and date rape some cheerleaders at keggers, fail to get an athletic scholarship to Basketweaving U., get some bullshit middle management sales job that he hates, drink himself into an ulcer before he's 28, marry some stupid woman, cheat on her with the first pregnancy, bring home herpes, she's gonna file for divorce later on because she will be too stupid to catch on until there are three kids, and he's gonna fight for visitation rights, but when the kids come to visit he'll be all "sit down and shut up, I'm watching the Jets game."
J.: We should just run him the hell over now and spare the planet the misery.
Me: Naw.
J.: Why not?
Me: Because we just had the car washed.
