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I moved out here to Bumblefuck eight years ago. Mainly to get away from the noise and congestion of living in Queens, as well as cut down on J.'s commute. I wanted my pooch to have a yard, I wanted a yard to garden in, I wanted quiet and the waterfront nearby.
Fast foward: I no longer garden because I can't go out in the sun for more than five minutes without spontaneous combustion blisters forming, my dog is dead, and yesterday I was assaulted with a cacaphony of the following:
--those poor doggies wailing
--DFATS bellowing about someshit while his wife? Sister? Mother in law? Threw things out of her SUV onto their driveway
--some douchebag with a chainsaw doing who knows what
--dorky teenage boys playing fastpitch against the side of a garage *thunk thunk thunk*
--some most-likely-autistic kid tootling the same three notes on a recorder over and over and OVER again
All at the same time.
I called J. and asked him to bring home a funnel. "What for?" "So you can help me pour something corrosive into my ear canals."
Fast foward: I no longer garden because I can't go out in the sun for more than five minutes without spontaneous combustion blisters forming, my dog is dead, and yesterday I was assaulted with a cacaphony of the following:
--those poor doggies wailing
--DFATS bellowing about someshit while his wife? Sister? Mother in law? Threw things out of her SUV onto their driveway
--some douchebag with a chainsaw doing who knows what
--dorky teenage boys playing fastpitch against the side of a garage *thunk thunk thunk*
--some most-likely-autistic kid tootling the same three notes on a recorder over and over and OVER again
All at the same time.
I called J. and asked him to bring home a funnel. "What for?" "So you can help me pour something corrosive into my ear canals."