watch out, William Safire. Siannan's in the house.

What a fine time we live in, where one could tune in last night and see Jan Brady saying "smegma" before a national audience.

Smegma is a great word. I would like to call it onomatopoeic, since smegma doesn't (well, at least it freakin' SHOULDN'T) make noise. But if there was ever something that could not possibly be called anything else but smegma, smegma is indeed it. When the aliens land, we should just say "smegma" to them, and they'll immediately know what we're talking about. It's universal.

"Boobies" is another word like smegma. Boobies cannot mean anything other than boobies.

B( o Y o )bies!

Now, "slut" is definitely onomatopoeic. Such a fabulously evocative word. I want to reclaim "slut" from the annals of epitheticals and elevate it to erotic verb status, referring to powerful musky juicy sex. We're talking oozings of secretions. Hot rushes of tongues and other membranes touching in saline tang.

Slut. Slut. Slutslutslutslutslutslutslut mmmmm ohhhhHHHHHHH YES YES YES YES YES!

(no subject)

I've read so many articles in the past two weeks I cannot remember where to attribute the following:

"They hate us because we don't know why they hate us."

That sentiment seems to hold true in the dissenting minority of posters and protesters that I have read. "America, think about why we hate you!!!" (they always seem to have the multiple punctuations going on)

Okay, I'm not calling myself an average american citizen, because there's no such thing. I consider myself to be pretty left-leaning. I protested against the US involvement in Iraq, but I don't consider myself a separatist, I support humanitarian aid and united nations policing in certain situations. I'm not especially politically savvy when it comes to foreign affairs, but I do try to gather my information from a variety of sources.

But damned if I can figure out why certain factions of Islam have such a problem with our so-called "decadent" lifestyle, or whatever the hell the extremists have a problem with.

So I invite any average representative of that camp to enlighten me; tell me what exactly is your problem with my government, my economy, my lifestyle, my existence. My guess is that we're pissed off about the same things, but hey, you don't have to live here.

By the way, I have more important things to hate than you.