The Joy of Cooking with Phlegm

So for the past week and a half I have been wallowing in this miasma of mucus, coupled with intermittent laryngitis, PMS, and coughing so hard I burst a hemerrhoid. Twice. I didn't even HAVE roids before. I don't need to poop blood.

And the only thing I want to eat are portabello mushroom and eggplant panini's from Alfie's. I think they put heroin in the balsamic vinegar.

Since it's Tuesday I will have to wait until they finish installing the not-so-subtle-wink to the Chinese farming community (hello, Gung hay fat choy much?) before I can resume grinding for linen and light leather (fuck you, Medivh) in the hopes that the loot whores in the big raiding guilds finish creating that scepter.

If you have no idea what the fuck I am talking about, you're lucky.

Maybe I should reroll on another realm. :P Fellow WoW whores, what do you think?

(no subject)

Oh yeah. And I can't get "My Humps" out of my head. But you know what? I don't care. Its a wonderful song. It's simple and stupid and catchy and goddess bless will.i.am for taking five minutes on the crapper to write it.

And Fergie is sex on a Donna Karan stick.

(no subject)

This can't be right. Can it?

Does this mean no more Channel 11? No more Channel 9, which used to be the channel for people who couldn't get up to change the channel?

Last night I dreamed a whole standup routine based on those old Prudential commercials where the guy would die and those two quasi-angels in white suits would show up and there would be a fuckin' escalator to heaven. "Yes, Ted, that bus DID hit you, but aren't you glad your family can cash in on your corpse?" They should bring those back. GET A PIECE OF THE ROCK!