Woop woop!

[siannan]

YAYYYY YAYYYY WE'RE GOING TO HOME DEPOT YAYYYYYY

I swear they should just have a $500 cover charge for every time J. and I walk into that place. Maybe I can talk him into buying me a table saw.

Or a chop saw.

Or a bandsaw.

Goddammit I love power saws. And I want a giant belt sander and an industrial drillpress and a huge miterbox and and and and and and JUST GIVE ME ONE OF EVERYTHING IN THE TOOL CORRAL!

Years ago they pissed me off at another branch and I shoplifted a wheelbarrow. Yes, a wheelbarrow. Still not as epic as the time puckgoodfellow shooplifted an entire futon for me from Caldor but it was still pretty chubby. ALL HAIL THE FELONIOUS FUTON!

Comments

[adamantplatypus.livejournal.com]

I'd love to hear how you managed either one. That's some ballsy shit.

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

I just loaded up the wheelbarrow with all kinds of shit and walked out. This salesguy had given me some crappy 'tude when I had tried to ask him some questions about oh, I think it was appliance voltage -- he gave me this look of disdain and started talking to me like I was retarded. I was in no mood to wait for someone to open a register after dealing with him; it was late at night and the cashiers were all congregated in a corner sucking on bottles of soda.

The futon thing was just balls on his part. We stuck it in a shopping cart and while J. and I feigned nonchalance by making a circuit of the store, puckgoodfellow wheeled it outside and when we exited he was trying to shove the thing in the back of our car and having a hell of a time with it because it was fucking HEAVY. I started laughing like a fucking loon and couldn't do shit to help him. J. helped him shove it in and then we went to a diner or something and the whole night I couldn't stop cackling over the sheer absurdity of it all.

A week later that same Caldor was hit by the cops because they were notorious for detaining suspected shoplifters--only if they were Latino.

[missdotti.livejournal.com]

Fuck! I WHEELBARROW? How the hell did you manage, and would you like to go shopping with me? I could use a new grill.

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

I remember there was an episode of The White Shadow where one of the students was picked up for trying to shoplift a Hibachi and the coach just was incredulous.

After jacking a fucking wheelbarrow and futon, I know a grill is small potatoes.

[julieannie.livejournal.com]

I can totally see how you could get away with a wheelbarrow if you're there at the right time.

I gave the husband a table saw for his birthday. I think bandsaw is his next item I have to give him. I just want to buy all the paint and all the outdoor supplies.

[puckgoodfellow.livejournal.com]

And I swear to this day that was the most comfy futon I've ever slept on and I've slept in many different places and on futons over my many years.

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

That thing was rock hard uncomfortable! You only liked sleeping over because you stole it and because you knew we were gonna go out and raise hell all over town the next day.

[demure.livejournal.com]

Everything is better when it's free! :)

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

LOL Wheelbarrow! and OMG Caldor!! I used to love going to Caldor. ROFL when I was really little, I used to call it Calendors. Seriously. LOL

~*::Meow::*~

[auntiesiannan.livejournal.com]

Caldor was so fucking ghetto. But Korvettes was even more ghetto. OMG Korvettes, my dad would drag me there every weekend for no reason.

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

ROFL!

~*::Meow::*~