siannan

(inspired by @pommie_tappet, a gnome of great worth.)

Take a drink every time Schlump uses the word "very" in a tweet. You'll be wasted before you finish one scroll.

Take two drinks if Shlump ends a tweet with an interjection. Sad!

If Shlump uses "scare" "quotes" in an "awkward" manner, light a shot on fire and pound it.

If Shlump ignores an established cultural holiday or anniversary, chug the bottle and throw the empty at Sean Spicer.

if Shlump tweets something apeshit after sundown on Fridays, have a swig of Manishewitz.

If Shlump says anything about a wall, have a shot of cheap tequila. If Vicente Fox says #FuckingWall in a subtweet, top shelf anejo.

If Shlump gets another lesson in international policy from Merkel, do a Jaegerbomb.

If Shlump pretends that Malcolm Turnbull is his friend, shotgun a Toohey's.

If Shlump whinetweets about the Taoiseach refusing to meet him, drink whatever the fuck you want, but blast some Thin LIzzy.

If Shlump thinks someone dead for over a century is alive, have some Jim Beam Jacob's Ghost.

If Shlump calls for a boycott of any company, funnel some Budweiser.

If Shlump says any established press or network is "fake news", have an O'Douls.