Writer's Block: It's Too Late to Apologize

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Pfft of course.

That's what REPARATIONS are for.

(no subject)

Am I alone in thinking that Speed Racer is going to suck every kind of testicle in every plane of existence?

J. wants to see it. He can go by himself and get fondled by a raincoat wearing grope fiend.

motorway065 hipped me to this

DO WANT. NOW. NOW NOW NOW.

Seriously that would be so perfect in my kitchen. It just needs colored bulbs.

This morning's breakfast conversation.

Me: Man, I had this wacky dream where we were in some store and you were playing the ukelele for me.

J.: ...that actually happened.

Me: What?

J.: The other day. In HomeGoods. You don't remember?

Me: Shit, you're right. Why the hell was there a ukelele in HomeGoods and why were you playing it and why the hell do I OH MY GOD I HAVE FUCKING EARLY ONSET ALZHEIMERS, DON'T I.

J.: Shut up and eat your bagel.

Me: We're gonna have this conversation every morning while you change my Depends.

J.: No, because I will put you away before then and get Numba Two Wife.

Me: I love you.

J.: I love you too. Eat your bagel.

Me: Yes dear. Wow, I can't even taste the poison.

Ignorance is bliss! Film at eleven!

Conservatives Happier Than Liberals


I'd be happy too if I went about with my head up my self-centered ass.