"I have been kind, Sarah. But I can also be cruel."

Well, at least today I was able to go outside for a bit and create more melanomas. Ugly Neighbor Children and their FatAssMother and YentaGramma were out in full force with supersoakers and eardrum-piercing shrieks. I turned on the sprinkler to get them away from my boundary, but they bray like donkeys. Jesus. I can't wait until they move. At least this time the crotchdroppings weren't naked, sometimes it looks like a NAMBLA block party over there.

Boring Marthish tidbits: trimmed the overgrown orange mint and cut some lavender for a bouquet, staked the gladioli, threw the peppermint, oreganos and lemon balm some blood meal to eat. I should schlep the hose to the front of the house and water there too, but I'm too farting lazy. Maybe tomorrow. I gotta get some more plants in the ground this weekend. Nothing good came in the mail. I hate the rightwing reactionary local free paper that arrives unbidden, and the fact that they want me to pay for a subscription. At least I get something to amend the compost heap out of it. Eat up, little wormies! Hippie Auntie Sianny wants lots of organic yumyums!

Watched Requiem for a Dream again this morning. Jennifer Connelly is delicious, has been ever since Labyrinth. Where the hell is Ellen Burstyn's Oscar? Julia Roberts must've blown the whole Academy with that freakish looking mouth of hers.

ASS TO ASS!

GIMME GIMME

If this doesn't shut the little bastards up, nothing will.

Enjoy the silence.

"MA."
"MA."
"MA."
"MA."
"MA."
"WHAT?"
"C'MERE!"
[brief pause for inaction of "Ma"]
"MA."
"MA."
"MA."
"MA."
[repeat from first.]

This is what I put up with all fucking day. One time, Ugly Neighbor Child #2 kept up a ten minute litany of "MA, [Ugly Neighbor Toddler] IS IN THE STREET! MA, [Ugly Neighbor Toddler] IS IN THE STREET!" When I grew weary of this variation on Chinese torture, I barked at the spawn to go get his brother. He stared at me slackjawed, then resumed his cadence to his maternal unit.

You see why seemingly placid eccentrics do things with K-Mart shotguns?